Virgin Mobile released the results of a ridiculous survey today. It asked 500 18-49 year olds which ring tone songs were the best for: significant others, ex’s, song about cheating, hook ups, and losing your virginity. It was all done in the spirit of Valentines Day.

Akon’s “I wanna love you” took the cake in the “Best Hook-up” song category, which is a bit of a conundrum considering in most hookups people just kind of, sort of, like someone after a few drinks.

Read on to see the rest of the winners.

Alicia Keys - “No One” won the “Best Ringtone for your significant other” category. I think getting your significant other diamonds, flowers, or even a cheap bar of moldy chocolate would be a more worthwhile present than a ringtone.

The “Best Song for Your Ex” was Thee Days Grace - “I Hate Everything About You,” which tells a lot about the audience surveyed. They’re likely living at home with their parents and applying black lipstick daily.

The “Best Ringtone about Cheating” was “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood, which features adrenaline pumping lyrics like, “I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,” and “slashed a hole in all four tires.”

And the number one song to lose your virginity to in the back of a pickup truck is, *drum roll please* Tim McGraw and Faith Hill “It’s your love.” I preferred the second place winner, “Feels like the first time.”